Since I was a child, I knew I wasn’t amongst my people. I was in the wrong environment.
That may sound dramatic and wrong, but it’s my truth.
One thing that I know is that when you’re the odd one out, you try to fit in. Once you’re in, you then look for the part of yourself that would stand out from the crowd.
I grew up doing both.
If I looked for people who looked like me, they lived somewhere else.
If I looked for people shared my beliefs, they only existed online.
If I looked for people dealing with the same issues, I convinced myself I was alone.
Over time, I stopped being the odd one out.
I was still different than everyone ethnically, racially, and belief wise, but I became culturally assimilated into my surrounding here in the South.
I didn’t realize by how much until I became a teacher in my hometown’s school district.
While I am still here, in the wrong environment, I realized that I am doing okay. Probably more okay than a few people that I know.
How I realized that I was doing okay was by the remarks of my English Language students.
My students were happy to see someone that looked like them.
My students were relieved to have someone who understood their cultural or religious practices.
My students felt safe speaking to someone willing to listen.
I’m still here in my hometown. And I still believe this is the wrong environment for me.
I know I will leave one day. Not because it’s trendy to leave your hometown, but because I want to experience an environment that aligns with who I am.
Until then, I’m here.
And maybe you are too.
Maybe you’re in the wrong environment too.
Maybe you’re like me and can’t leave yet.
Whether it’s because you’re in school, finances, responsibilities, or timing – you are stuck too.
You want more alignment, more opportunities, and more space to be yourself…
…but you’re stuck where you are.
Your current environment feels so wrong for you.
But just because you’re in the wrong environment doesn’t mean you can’t grow.
In this post, I’ll show you what you can do to thrive in your environment, even if the odds are against your favor.
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1. Stop Waiting for the Environment to Change
One of the biggest mistakes I made was believing that growth can only happen once conditions improve.
Once I am in 10th grade, then I can make good grades.
Once I reach college, then I can make true friends.
Once I get a full time job, I can finally start saving money.
But thriving isn’t a reward for perfect conditions—it’s a skill.
When you delay your development until the environment changes, you give your surroundings too much power.
If you believe you’re only ready when your surroundings change, you will never truly be ready.
Even if that time came, all that time spent waiting can make you feel anxious and unsure because you were only waiting for when “things felt right” instead of learning how to grow where you are.
Think about it.
If the environment became perfect tomorrow, would you really be ready?
No! You wouldn’t!
Because you weren’t trying to change and thrive while waiting for the environment changed. You weren’t learning how to adapt or improve.
You were just saying “I’ll start” once everything around you fell into place.
Instead of waiting for the environment to change, ask yourself this: What can I control right now?
Your habits, your mindset, your effort, and your response are always available tools—no matter where you are.
You can’t control everything around, but you can always control how you show up within it.
2. Build a Micro-Environment That Supports You
You just established that you’re in the wrong environment.
If you’re like me—stuck where you are for now—that doesn’t mean you can’t find people that are similar to you.
For example, I can’t find another person like me who may love to watch anime AND read literature at my workplace and online university program.
BUT—I can rock with the one coworker who likes anime and composing music.
How did I land on this coworker, you might’ve asked?
I saw that he was wearing a Pokemon lanyard while we were in a teacher meeting after school. So, I took a chance and sat with him.
We immediately hit it off.
That example was all to say…
Even when you can’t change your location, schedule, or circumstances, you can still create the opportunities to find people who think, dream, and execute things like you.
If the larger environment isn’t supportive, create a smaller one that is.
This might look like:
- A daily routine that grounds you.
- A few people who challenge and encourage you
- Books, podcasts, or mentors that expand your thinking
You don’t need the whole environment to be right. Sometimes one corner is enough to grow in.
And even in that corner, while being in the wrong environment, you can find support by being online.
Being active online—whether a group chat, an online forum, or being on Discord, can be enough to remind you that you’re not alone.
Your virtual community can breathe life and substance into your day-to-day life when your physical community feels small or limiting.
Just remember to not fully lose yourself to these digital spaces. Fully lose yourself to it, it can keep you stuck longer than necessary in the very environment you’re trying to outgrow.
3. Detach Growth from Recognition
In the wrong environment, your progress may go unnoticed, misunderstood, or even discouraged.
My advice: learn to grow without the applause.
We know that applause is not a bad thing. It’s supposed to show that people support and encourage what you’re doing.
However getting applause—whether from the real world or social media—is one of the most addicting, distracting noises that people chase.
Just because you got applause doesn’t mean that you’re on the right track. You were applauded because you did something that the people around you liked.
If you’re only chasing the applause, you are going to loose parts of yourself just to feel accepted and great for that moment.
For example, when you are cleaning how to clean the dishes for the first time, you’re just learning how to do it properly.
During your first time, the person teaching you will encourage you because they want you to keep going. That’s normal.
Over time, you realize you don’t need the praise to wash dishes. You do it just clean up after yourself or as an act of service for others.
Eventually, the applause fades.
But if you choose to seek applause for doing the dishes, your environment will be comfortable enough to give you more dishes to do—while giving either the same praise or a little less.
In time, in chasing the praise, you lose parts of yourself.
Over time, you would feel less and less of yourself and empowered.
Over time, your resentment will build.
It’s not realistic for your teacher and everyone around you to applaud you 365 days a year for doing the same task. And on the 366th day, when you finally stop and are asked why, that built-up resentment comes out.
That resentment did not happen overnight.
It grew because you kept doing things for validation instead of for your values or your purpose.
What started as learning to clean up after yourself turned into an unspoken expectation to clean up for everyone else.
Doing things because they align with who you are should be enough.
Learning to do the work without the applause builds resilience and integrity. It teaches you to value improvement over approval and purpose over popularity.
When you eventually move into a better-aligned environment, this quiet discipline becomes a powerful advantage.
4. Know When Thriving Means Preparing to Leave
When we think of thriving in the wrong environment, we often think about a plants or trees growing somewhere where they shouldn’t be.
Like a flower that grew within the cracks of a sidewalk. The flower isn’t meant to grow in the sidewalk, but it doesn’t make it any less vibrant and beautiful.
People can learn to adapt and thrive within their environments. However, like flowers, they can stay stuck where they are.
Some people thrive to a point and stay stuck where they are because they became too comfortable or too fearful to leave where they are.
Remember, thriving doesn’t always mean staying forever.
Sometimes it means becoming strong enough, clear enough, and capable enough to move on.
Use the wrong environment as training, not a life sentence.
Learn what you can. Build what you need. Then, when the time is right, leave without bitterness—only readiness.
The wrong environment can limit your comfort, but it doesn’t have to limit your growth.
It means making the most of where you are while working toward where you want to be.
If you can learn to thrive where you are—without becoming hardened, small, or resentful—you’ll carry that strength with you wherever you go next. And when you finally find the right environment, you won’t just fit into it.
You’ll elevate it.
I couldn’t talk greatly about leaving one environment for another environment yet.
Instead, I will be making the most of where I am while working towards where I want to be.
